I love getting dressed up. I enjoy the hunt for an outfit, mostly at local consignment shops, and selecting an item that really makes me squeal. My personal style likes to show a little leg, so I stick with A-line skirts as those compliment my hippy-er figure. I happily wear make up to enhance my natural beauty, apply a little essential oil in place of perfume, and slip on heels when the event calls for a change in elevation. There is one particular area, however, where I do not have a passion and that is the subject of undergarments.
After a rather humorous conversation with two of my best girl friends over dinner, I came to the conclusion that there are two kinds of women: fancy-schmancy sexy panty ladies and cozy cotton, no frills Hanes girls.
I, am the later.
Now before you judge, I’ve lived on both sides of the lingerie fence. I used to be the fancy-schmancy sexy panty lady in college and most of my 30s, but once I really started to feel comfortable in my own spirit, I became the Albert Einstein of knickers. Remember Al, who like several geniuses in history decided not to expel any unnecessary energy on their clothing so they chose to wear the same outfits over and over and over again?
I still have those scantly-clad pieces in my dresser, so old that they are practically disintegrating. But I crave simplicity now. I need no-nonsense. Lingerie seriously makes me feel like I am bound and gagged and being held hostage. I’m just a simple girl and feel exhilarated by the freedom a cozy pair of undies gives me to scoot about my day, unrestricted, foot loose and fancy-free!
LM Montgomery wrote, “There is no such thing as freedom on earth, only different kinds of bondages. And comparative bondages. YOU think you are free now because you’ve escaped from a peculiarly unbreakable kind of bondage. But are you? You love me – THAT’S a bondage.”
Breaking free from the bondage of my unmentionables was one of the most liberating things I have done in my life. I’ve noticed that my writing is more raw and honest when I’m sporting cotton instead of butt floss, and my heart seems a bit more in synch with how I’m really feeling, instead of focusing on the constant distraction of squirming in my skin. Instead, I’m happily bound to the things in my life that demand attention.
And I know there are others like me in the world because – HANES. This comfy brand tells the tale of my undergarment longings in their ads and had me intrigued years ago by Miss Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Frustrated by the underwear provided at a glamorous photo shoot, Hewitt retreats to her own purse to find her Hanes and then life is grand and comfortable. And, can you believe it, Hewitt is still a beautiful sexy woman?!
(And no, I do not work for Hanes.)
I often feel like I was born in the wrong era, as my heart seems drawn to slow living and simple things like wanting chickens in my backyard and reading books with pages. So it’s only natural that I connect with the ladies that don the underwear in Hanes ads instead of the winged creatures strutting the Victoria’s Secret catwalk.
Being productive and creative in my life calls for a flexibility to think clearly without distraction. And in a world of so many distractions, I can’t bother to omit any extra energy on my briefs…
Any no frills, Hanes girls out there who celebrate no non-sense? Speak up so I know I’m not alone!
Your Modern Domestic Corespondent,
This article was originally published on March 16, 2017, in the Kane County Chronicle.